An Englishman in New England
Work like no-one's watching, dance like you don't need the money, and hurt like you've never been loved.
All About The Englishman
Things fall apart. The center cannot hold.
Change your perceptions. They're lame.
I have a dream.
I am Jack's imaginary friend
Don't think. Just Grow.
For all your multimedia needs
Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles
Hey! You make me throw up a little!
The Framley Examiner Personals
From the creator of 'Grow'
Fura Neko games!
This man is everything I hope to be, artistically
Tokyo Plastic 2.0h!
I love free speech. Talk to me.
Belle De Jour
C h a p e l . P e r i l o u s
Another Girl, Another Planet
currently. . .[Playing] Oh, holy Halo 2, Xbox
[Reading] War of the Worlds
[Songs of the Moment] Freelove Freeway, Ricky Gervais/David Brent & Noel Gallagher (The Office), Let Me Love You, Mario
[Movie(s) of the Moment] Before Sunset
highlight reelPussy Perspectives
The Laid List
Liquored Up and Lookin' Fer Pussy
The Office and David Carradine
A Wee Turtle's Head
The Illusion of Time
Born To Run
Fiendster: The Anti-Friendster
Crusoe and the INS
Smile for me, Mona
Spin the bullet bachelor party
Spin the bullet part II
Heaven and Home
Heal the world
Atom Feed me, Seymour
~ Powered By ~
The Englishman is new and improved! After a little bit of scripting, you all now have the ability to comment on my thoughts, as well as punctuate them with smileys. For a complete list of the lil' critters, click the top link. Or you could just use my personal favorite - type ":puke:"
Thursday, January 29
Will someone explain something to me? See, I'm not Doogie Hauser, I never kept a journal when I was a moon-faced maladjusted teen. When you read back on your archive of postings, are they supposed to seem trite, stupid and more than a little childish?
Wednesday, January 28
The Reverend Tony Blair must be on his knees and thanking his lucky stars after an investigation panel cleared him of any involvement in the suicide of that british weapons expert who said there were no WMD's in Iraq. Close one, eh Tony?
It's payday tomorrow. . .the Englishman draws $1000 closer to subjugating the world to his iron fist. . .
Monday, January 26
It's an interesting thing when you find something (or someone) that pushes your buttons. You know, gets you really seething. Those that know me would probably describe me as pretty placid (I said placid, not fla- ah forget it). I mean, I'm english - we don't have emotions, only clever put-downs delivered with arched eyebrows and a little twist at the corner of our mouths.
. . .which reminds me of Nina Simone's first single after her divorce, "My Baby Just Glares At Me". . .
Friday, January 23
Why yes, Mr. Kerry, I'd love a giant slice of Humble Pie. . .oh, and would you pass me a napkin too? Howard is drooling again.
Thursday, January 22
. . .And so yet another multi-billion-dollar Mars probe fails to report back for roll call. This is what, the 3rd or 4th time this has happened?
Companies like huh? Corp. are the foundation of any thriving e-conomy. It's thanks to companies like this, that we are where we are today. . .
Wednesday, January 21
I'm thinking that it would be fascinating to compile a bunch of ideas that people thought were great ideas, but upon further consideration really just defeated the objective.
*Deet deet deet!* yo are you there?
This is the most amazing piece of performance art I have ever seen. It makes me happy to know that there are people out there doing things like this, and being recognized for their efforts.
The rapper Mystikal was sent to jail for 6 years last week for forcing his hair stylist to perform oral sex on him and his bodyguards while they videotaped the ordeal.
Tuesday, January 20
Monday, January 19
"Black? White? Makes no difference - we're all pink on the inside." Mr. Wiggles
I've concluded that politicians shouldn't be paid for what they do. All they do is spew pious crap, and kiss babies.
Friday, January 16
"It is miserable out there, with a capital FUCK" ~ some dude's away message. . .
Thursday, January 15
Can we talk about education? Specifically, let's talk about high school. I think it'd be pretty accurate to say that high school for you, and my english equivalent 4th, 5th and 6th form, was a significantly traumatic soul-crushing experience. Each of us thought it was just us, that we didn't fit in, that we weren't cool enough to hang with the popular crowd, and wondered why so much importance was placed on numbing assignments. "If you don't get a good grade, you won't go to college, and you'll fail in life" - sound familiar?
Wednesday, January 14
I finally went to se an immigration lawyer yesterday. We consulted for about an hour and a half - poor M. After we were finished, she asked me how I managed to speak almost exclusively in acronyms and form numbers. Living under the gun of the INS makes you learn a lot of things. . .
I'm one of those people that you hate during Flu season, when you have stomach cramps, and when you lose an arm. For some reason that I don't even pretend to understand, I'm in incredibly good shape.
Monday, January 12
My friend has been in Boston about the same time as I have. She is also English, and yet since the day I met her, she hasn't conjoined a single word, said the word 'Holla', nor has she twanged a single 'R'. The girl has a Hollywood-perfect english accent - you know, the one where you speak like you have a whole orange in your mouth. It's great! It's also weird that I think her accent sounds really nice when it's the one I used to fucking have
If you've seen that movie 'Go', the english character Simon would be a pretty good estimation of what I was like a few years ago. Except I didn't shoot anyone. . .
It's funny - when I started this blog, I figured, I'd have loads of interesting 'Englishman in a typically American situation' type japes and stories to tell you about. But now I think I blend in completely; noone even notices the little brit-ness I have left.
Friday, January 9
This was an interesting little nugget from Reuters.com. The article highlights the importance US politicians place on religion in contrast to their Euro counterparts.
In my household, politically-speaking , a lot has been going on recently.
Thursday, January 8
This is one of the most entertaining and true-to-life flash shorts ever made. I've worked for these people. . .
Tuesday, January 6
Does anyone else find it irritating that blogs list the most recent entry first? I feel like you late arrivals are missing out on the continuity that is expertly and lovingly woven between each of these posts. . .
I got in touch with my best friend from high school today, to invite him to my wedding reception.
Monday, January 5
. . .I've got it.
. . .which reminds me - am I the only one who thought there was something. . .missing in Lord of the Rings: Return of the King? I can't quite put my finger on it, but there was definitely something off about it compared to the Two Towers.
For some reason, I've been obsessed with this new movie Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. . .ahem. . .
Friday, January 2
Inside the mind of a surgeon:
My best friend, let's call him 'Drinman' has what some might think is the nerdiest hobby ever. He composes away messages for use when he's online with AOL Instant Messenger. I advise you to hesitate before mocking him, however. They're really fucking good - the man has an economy with words that provokes and yet keeps you just at arm's length from understanding.