An Englishman in New England

An Englishman in New England

Work like no-one's watching, dance like you don't need the money, and hurt like you've never been loved.

All About The Englishman


Be informed
Be entertained
Be perverted
Confess, sinner
Things fall apart. The center cannot hold.
Change your perceptions. They're lame.
I have a dream.
I am Jack's imaginary friend
Don't think. Just Grow.
For all your multimedia needs
Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles
Filthy Lies
Hey! You make me throw up a little!
The Framley Examiner Personals
From the creator of 'Grow'
Fura Neko games!
This man is everything I hope to be, artistically
Tokyo Plastic 2.0h!

I love free speech. Talk to me.


December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
December 2004
March 2005


Belle De Jour
C h a p e l . P e r i l o u s
Another Girl, Another Planet
Robber Rabbit

currently. . .

[Playing] Oh, holy Halo 2, Xbox
[Reading] War of the Worlds
[Songs of the Moment] Freelove Freeway, Ricky Gervais/David Brent & Noel Gallagher (The Office), Let Me Love You, Mario
[Movie(s) of the Moment] Before Sunset

highlight reel

Pussy Perspectives
The Laid List
Liquored Up and Lookin' Fer Pussy
Orphan Rampage
The Office and David Carradine
Urkel's Calling
A Wee Turtle's Head
Non-Event Horizon
The Illusion of Time
Born To Run
Bush Humor
Fiendster: The Anti-Friendster
Crusoe and the INS
Peak Oil
Smile for me, Mona
Spin the bullet bachelor party
Spin the bullet part II
Heaven and Home
Heal the world

Atom Feed me, Seymour

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Monday, April 5

Born to Run

Boy meets boy. Boy likes blasting Springsteen at 3am, throwing parents' money, ego around, hollering; finds out other boy likes same. Boys hook up, incorporate anal penetration into Springsteen proceedings loudly and regularly over past three weeks. Wake Englishman up last night, yet again; Englishman pissed, calls cops.

Cops come, tell boys to shut fuck up. Also tell Boy he's been in jail before, this is last warning. Cops turn around to leave. Boy talks shit to cops, along lines of "I'm not turning down shit, pig", and "Do you know who I am?". Englishman, M, sit in bedroom, listen to rapidly escalating situation below floor.

Cops decide not to leave, to put shiny bracelets on boy, while other boy apologizes profusely to cops, and attempts to calm situation down. Boy doesn't want shiny bracelets, grabs liquor bottle, tries to cave in cops' skulls.

Loud thuds, crunches, tinkles as boy eats floor thanks to cops. More bangs. Boy manages to break free, barricades self in bedroom. Englishman and M get out of own bedroom, anticipating shots, crossfire, don't want to get hit by them coming through floor/boy's ceiling. Other boy tries to persuade boy to come out. Boy scuffles around, goes silent.

Cops get bored of being nice, draw guns, force door open. Boy has already jumped out of 2nd floor window, is nowhere to be found. Cops put other boy in shiny bracelets instead, take him 'Downtown'.

Englishman lies awake rest of night listening for boy's return, anticipates confrontation with boy in the next week or so. Morning, cops call, tell Englishman he may have to speak with District Attorney, testify at boy's trial. Englishman currently at work, zombie, lack of sleep.

How was your weekend?