An Englishman in New England

An Englishman in New England

Work like no-one's watching, dance like you don't need the money, and hurt like you've never been loved.

All About The Englishman


Be informed
Be entertained
Be perverted
Confess, sinner
Things fall apart. The center cannot hold.
Change your perceptions. They're lame.
I have a dream.
I am Jack's imaginary friend
Don't think. Just Grow.
For all your multimedia needs
Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles
Filthy Lies
Hey! You make me throw up a little!
The Framley Examiner Personals
From the creator of 'Grow'
Fura Neko games!
This man is everything I hope to be, artistically
Tokyo Plastic 2.0h!

I love free speech. Talk to me.


December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
December 2004
March 2005


Belle De Jour
C h a p e l . P e r i l o u s
Another Girl, Another Planet
Robber Rabbit

currently. . .

[Playing] Oh, holy Halo 2, Xbox
[Reading] War of the Worlds
[Songs of the Moment] Freelove Freeway, Ricky Gervais/David Brent & Noel Gallagher (The Office), Let Me Love You, Mario
[Movie(s) of the Moment] Before Sunset

highlight reel

Pussy Perspectives
The Laid List
Liquored Up and Lookin' Fer Pussy
Orphan Rampage
The Office and David Carradine
Urkel's Calling
A Wee Turtle's Head
Non-Event Horizon
The Illusion of Time
Born To Run
Bush Humor
Fiendster: The Anti-Friendster
Crusoe and the INS
Peak Oil
Smile for me, Mona
Spin the bullet bachelor party
Spin the bullet part II
Heaven and Home
Heal the world

Atom Feed me, Seymour

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Monday, January 26

It's an interesting thing when you find something (or someone) that pushes your buttons. You know, gets you really seething. Those that know me would probably describe me as pretty placid (I said placid, not fla- ah forget it). I mean, I'm english - we don't have emotions, only clever put-downs delivered with arched eyebrows and a little twist at the corner of our mouths.

But last night I lay awake, sleep-deprived and furious, and sincerely wished the guy in the apartment below me a screaming pointy death. And not the fun kind either, I wanted the real "Yo, I hate the guy too, but dude, you have to lay off" sick enjoyment kind of pointy, scraping death.

See, this guy has moved into my apartment building below me. He's in some stupid college, which in itself is fine - I myself only graduated a few months ago. He also bought himself a puppy, which also of itself is fine - I have no problem with dogs. What I did have a problem with was the fact that this guy bought himself a puppy, and then stayed out all night, while the damn dog yelped, whined and generally made everyone else in the building an unwilling participant in its isolated misery.

For the next 8 hours.

Like I said, pointy death is called for. But in 'Civilization', the best freakin' equivalent is a firm note taped to his front door, asking him to "please keep your dog quiet if it's not too terribly difficult - I really feel terribly awfully bad about asking you to do this, but you see, I had a horribly difficult time getting to sleep last night, and I know this is america, and you have all these rights, but if it's okay with you, I mean I'm terribly sorry to ask, but if you could possibly manage to keep the noise down at night, I would be most awfully grateful".

Sometimes I hate being a vicitm of my polite heritage.