I've been in the US for so long now that I feel completely ersatz whenever I encounter a 'real' English person.
They make me feel like the human equivalent of those medieval-themed restaurants. You know, the type where the staff dress in fine (fake) ermine robes, and you get to call the waitresses "wenches", and eventually get thrown out of because you got completely wasted on "Ye Olde Ale", and tried to break up the sword fight between Lancelot and Gawain in the after-dinner show. . .
In other words, they make me feel about as english and refined as a Vin Diesel movie.
I console myself with the fact that I can follow every line of dialogue in The Office, and any of Guy Ritchie's movies. . .
