An Englishman in New England

An Englishman in New England

Work like no-one's watching, dance like you don't need the money, and hurt like you've never been loved.

All About The Englishman


Be informed
Be entertained
Be perverted
Confess, sinner
Things fall apart. The center cannot hold.
Change your perceptions. They're lame.
I have a dream.
I am Jack's imaginary friend
Don't think. Just Grow.
For all your multimedia needs
Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles
Filthy Lies
Hey! You make me throw up a little!
The Framley Examiner Personals
From the creator of 'Grow'
Fura Neko games!
This man is everything I hope to be, artistically
Tokyo Plastic 2.0h!

I love free speech. Talk to me.


December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
December 2004
March 2005


Belle De Jour
C h a p e l . P e r i l o u s
Another Girl, Another Planet
Robber Rabbit

currently. . .

[Playing] Oh, holy Halo 2, Xbox
[Reading] War of the Worlds
[Songs of the Moment] Freelove Freeway, Ricky Gervais/David Brent & Noel Gallagher (The Office), Let Me Love You, Mario
[Movie(s) of the Moment] Before Sunset

highlight reel

Pussy Perspectives
The Laid List
Liquored Up and Lookin' Fer Pussy
Orphan Rampage
The Office and David Carradine
Urkel's Calling
A Wee Turtle's Head
Non-Event Horizon
The Illusion of Time
Born To Run
Bush Humor
Fiendster: The Anti-Friendster
Crusoe and the INS
Peak Oil
Smile for me, Mona
Spin the bullet bachelor party
Spin the bullet part II
Heaven and Home
Heal the world

Atom Feed me, Seymour

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Monday, February 23

Lazily, almost seductively, he slid the gleaming round into the chamber, and slapped the drum. It whizzed as it spun, and I started slightly as, with a neat flick of the wrist, he slammed it home, and raised the gun to a spot right between my eyes. Straining at the garden hose that bound my hands and feet, and painfully aware of the welts it had left across my back from the relentless beating I had just endured, I began to sweat even more than before.

"Where is it?", he asked.
"Ask them ", I replied, gesturing with my head over at the rest of them, "they seem to like birds way more than I do."

They stood there, lurking in the darkness just beyond the stark cone beaming down from the battered light fixture. It was swinging to and fro in the way that you see it do in hollywood movies. It was a nice touch.

"In that case, we're going to play a game", he said, using his cuff to wipe the powder from his nose. I could see that his pupils were now mere pinpricks surrounded on all sides by piercing blue. He cocked the hammer with a slow click.

At that point, I started to suspect I might not be at the altar on time.