An Englishman in New England

An Englishman in New England

Work like no-one's watching, dance like you don't need the money, and hurt like you've never been loved.

All About The Englishman


Be informed
Be entertained
Be perverted
Confess, sinner
Things fall apart. The center cannot hold.
Change your perceptions. They're lame.
I have a dream.
I am Jack's imaginary friend
Don't think. Just Grow.
For all your multimedia needs
Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles
Filthy Lies
Hey! You make me throw up a little!
The Framley Examiner Personals
From the creator of 'Grow'
Fura Neko games!
This man is everything I hope to be, artistically
Tokyo Plastic 2.0h!

I love free speech. Talk to me.


December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
December 2004
March 2005


Belle De Jour
C h a p e l . P e r i l o u s
Another Girl, Another Planet
Robber Rabbit

currently. . .

[Playing] Oh, holy Halo 2, Xbox
[Reading] War of the Worlds
[Songs of the Moment] Freelove Freeway, Ricky Gervais/David Brent & Noel Gallagher (The Office), Let Me Love You, Mario
[Movie(s) of the Moment] Before Sunset

highlight reel

Pussy Perspectives
The Laid List
Liquored Up and Lookin' Fer Pussy
Orphan Rampage
The Office and David Carradine
Urkel's Calling
A Wee Turtle's Head
Non-Event Horizon
The Illusion of Time
Born To Run
Bush Humor
Fiendster: The Anti-Friendster
Crusoe and the INS
Peak Oil
Smile for me, Mona
Spin the bullet bachelor party
Spin the bullet part II
Heaven and Home
Heal the world

Atom Feed me, Seymour

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Monday, March 22


The day before my wedding, my Dad took me to one side for 'The Talk'. You know, the one where he imparts all his marriage advice while holding back the tears of pride.

"Son, a marriage is like a pair of dolphins, swimming together", he began. When my expression registered befuddlement, he switched analogies on me. "Rather, it's like the two of you are in a rowing boat - if you can't learn to row together, you'll end up going nowhere."

"Are we still dolphins?", I interjected.


"Dolphins. M and I are dolphins rowing a boat? Why are we rowing a boat if we're dolphins? And if we're going so nowhere, why not get out and swim?"

"Forget that, son. Marriage is more like. . .ah, flying a jumbo jet. You've got two co-pilots, but only one flightstick."



"It's called a yoke, not a flightstick. And I'm pretty sure they have two yokes nowadays, instead of playing musical chairs in the cockpit."

"Oh, well then forget that one. What I'm saying is, in marriage, you've got to cooperate as a unit."

"Right, or else the two dolphins in the rowing boat end up going in circles if they fight over the yoke."


"Nothing," I said, taking him by the arm. "Let's get a drink."