An Englishman in New England

An Englishman in New England

Work like no-one's watching, dance like you don't need the money, and hurt like you've never been loved.

All About The Englishman


Be informed
Be entertained
Be perverted
Confess, sinner
Things fall apart. The center cannot hold.
Change your perceptions. They're lame.
I have a dream.
I am Jack's imaginary friend
Don't think. Just Grow.
For all your multimedia needs
Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles
Filthy Lies
Hey! You make me throw up a little!
The Framley Examiner Personals
From the creator of 'Grow'
Fura Neko games!
This man is everything I hope to be, artistically
Tokyo Plastic 2.0h!

I love free speech. Talk to me.


December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
December 2004
March 2005


Belle De Jour
C h a p e l . P e r i l o u s
Another Girl, Another Planet
Robber Rabbit

currently. . .

[Playing] Oh, holy Halo 2, Xbox
[Reading] War of the Worlds
[Songs of the Moment] Freelove Freeway, Ricky Gervais/David Brent & Noel Gallagher (The Office), Let Me Love You, Mario
[Movie(s) of the Moment] Before Sunset

highlight reel

Pussy Perspectives
The Laid List
Liquored Up and Lookin' Fer Pussy
Orphan Rampage
The Office and David Carradine
Urkel's Calling
A Wee Turtle's Head
Non-Event Horizon
The Illusion of Time
Born To Run
Bush Humor
Fiendster: The Anti-Friendster
Crusoe and the INS
Peak Oil
Smile for me, Mona
Spin the bullet bachelor party
Spin the bullet part II
Heaven and Home
Heal the world

Atom Feed me, Seymour

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Wednesday, March 10

Greeks bearing gifts

One of the stranger things I've encountered here throughout my travels is the yawning gap between the hospitality shown me by individuals, and the way I've been treated by entities that profess to act on behalf of the people of this country.

In my first year of college, I had no less than three people offer to take my hand in holy matrimony for the sole purpose of getting me a green card. I politely declined of course (in case any of you were wondering), on numerous occasions, but was touched by how far these people, some of whom barely knew me, were willing to stick their neck out. . .or at least offer to stick their neck out.

This wasn't simply restricted to women either - there have been several instances where guys I've known have said they'd "vouch" for me, which always used to conjure up images of me walking in on a shadowy secret mob boss meeting, and the person in question jumping into the crossfire yelling "Don't shoot! He's with me". . .

I remember I used to get quite paranoid about these peoples' proposals, thinking that some of them might be wearing a wire, just to get the sordid deal on tape to the INS. But pretty soon, they learned to stop offering for fear of my growing proficiency with handcuffs, painful joint locks and inspection of their assholes with a maglite clenched between my teeth while I demand they tell me who they work for.