Earth Day? Well of course I remember what it used to be like.
Compared to the Earth Days of yore, this one was a bit of a damp squib.
Yes, kids, I remember the good ol' Earth Days, when we'd celebrate by building a roaring bonfire, made up of as many old tires, refridgerator coils and CFC-laden spraycans as possible. Mother would spend all day roasting stacks of hormone-grown 3lb steaks, and we'd come tramping in, drenched from gasoline fights with other children in the neighborhood. Ah, I can still taste the thick, refreshing glasses of crude we drank to wash down all that pesticide-ridden food. Then, when we were done, as a special treat, father would fire up the SUV, an-
*whisper whisper*
What? What do you mean, 'it's about conservation'?!?