An Englishman in New England

An Englishman in New England

Work like no-one's watching, dance like you don't need the money, and hurt like you've never been loved.

All About The Englishman


Be informed
Be entertained
Be perverted
Confess, sinner
Things fall apart. The center cannot hold.
Change your perceptions. They're lame.
I have a dream.
I am Jack's imaginary friend
Don't think. Just Grow.
For all your multimedia needs
Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles
Filthy Lies
Hey! You make me throw up a little!
The Framley Examiner Personals
From the creator of 'Grow'
Fura Neko games!
This man is everything I hope to be, artistically
Tokyo Plastic 2.0h!

I love free speech. Talk to me.


December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
December 2004
March 2005


Belle De Jour
C h a p e l . P e r i l o u s
Another Girl, Another Planet
Robber Rabbit

currently. . .

[Playing] Oh, holy Halo 2, Xbox
[Reading] War of the Worlds
[Songs of the Moment] Freelove Freeway, Ricky Gervais/David Brent & Noel Gallagher (The Office), Let Me Love You, Mario
[Movie(s) of the Moment] Before Sunset

highlight reel

Pussy Perspectives
The Laid List
Liquored Up and Lookin' Fer Pussy
Orphan Rampage
The Office and David Carradine
Urkel's Calling
A Wee Turtle's Head
Non-Event Horizon
The Illusion of Time
Born To Run
Bush Humor
Fiendster: The Anti-Friendster
Crusoe and the INS
Peak Oil
Smile for me, Mona
Spin the bullet bachelor party
Spin the bullet part II
Heaven and Home
Heal the world

Atom Feed me, Seymour

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Thursday, April 1

You're standing in the kitchen, cutting up tomatoes for dinner. The kids are watching cartoons after school, and you can hear their gleeful yips of joy as Yu-Gi-Oh triumphs yet again over. . .whoever.

Out of nowhere: "They have to die"

You jump - "Who's there?" you whisper fearfully, dismissing where you think it came from.

You look around the corner to check the kids are okay - they're fine, as if they didn't hear a thing. You look around the house - there's noone there. You start to relax a little - must've been hearing things.

Then once again, calmly, rationally: "They have to die. Don't ask why - it's just faith, that's how it works. I will show you how to do it. Look for the signs."

Once again, you check on the kids, who are chortling at the TV still. Something on it catches your eye - Wile E Coyote, in his trademark style, yet again has a large rock introduced to his skull.

"You see?" says the voice "That's how you 're going to do it. That's how it must be done. You're not crazy - you've been chosen. But you must prove yourself."

You try to ignore it, you think you must be going nuts. But over time, the voice persists.

A few weeks later, you start to think that it might be telling the truth. . .

This woman is easily dismissed by the majority of people as crazy. They're probably right. But they think it couldn't happen to them.

"What a nut job", they scoff, contemptuously, "I mean, how could you kill your kids??".

I would ask "How couldn't you?"

After all, when you really think about it, we've all thought about swerving into oncoming traffic, of leaning over the edge just a little too far, of pulling a revolver on the guy who just cut you up on the highway. We 'hate' this TV show, and 'want to kill' that person. And I think all it would take is a little persuasion for us to put iron in our words.

We're all, all of us, tenuously clinging to sanity by a thread.