Wookie Nookie
I am at war with my own face. No, that's a bit harsh - rather, we've ceased diplomatic relations, and it's just a matter of days before troops hit the ground, and CNN reporters flock in in droves. I have ingrown hairs so bad, if you were to capture me, slit me open from chin to chopper and turned my skin inside out, you'd find out where Chewbacca has been hiding all these years.