An Englishman in New England

An Englishman in New England

Work like no-one's watching, dance like you don't need the money, and hurt like you've never been loved.

All About The Englishman


Be informed
Be entertained
Be perverted
Confess, sinner
Things fall apart. The center cannot hold.
Change your perceptions. They're lame.
I have a dream.
I am Jack's imaginary friend
Don't think. Just Grow.
For all your multimedia needs
Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles
Filthy Lies
Hey! You make me throw up a little!
The Framley Examiner Personals
From the creator of 'Grow'
Fura Neko games!
This man is everything I hope to be, artistically
Tokyo Plastic 2.0h!

I love free speech. Talk to me.


December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
December 2004
March 2005


Belle De Jour
C h a p e l . P e r i l o u s
Another Girl, Another Planet
Robber Rabbit

currently. . .

[Playing] Oh, holy Halo 2, Xbox
[Reading] War of the Worlds
[Songs of the Moment] Freelove Freeway, Ricky Gervais/David Brent & Noel Gallagher (The Office), Let Me Love You, Mario
[Movie(s) of the Moment] Before Sunset

highlight reel

Pussy Perspectives
The Laid List
Liquored Up and Lookin' Fer Pussy
Orphan Rampage
The Office and David Carradine
Urkel's Calling
A Wee Turtle's Head
Non-Event Horizon
The Illusion of Time
Born To Run
Bush Humor
Fiendster: The Anti-Friendster
Crusoe and the INS
Peak Oil
Smile for me, Mona
Spin the bullet bachelor party
Spin the bullet part II
Heaven and Home
Heal the world

Atom Feed me, Seymour

~ Powered By ~

Weblog Commenting and Trackback by
your mom

~ Listed By ~
Listed on Blogwise
The Weblog Review

~ Template By ~

Thursday, June 17

We who are about to die, salute you!

Feeling uncharacteristically democratic, I am, yes, mmm. Below cower the seedlings of two separate posts. See how they tremble! For you see, they both know that one shall live, be completed, and go on to join its worthy brethren in the blog-valhalla known as An Englishman in New England, living out its days eating ripe meat off the bone and drinking malt beer from neverending flagons.

They also know that the other shall be cast down as unfit for any but the most corrupt data-infested recycling bin, rubbing shoulders with temporary internet files, and that Jessica Simpson MP3 you downloaded for its catchy beat, and then reconsidered your terrible, terrible actions.

They know you shall choose their fate. Choose wisely.

The Truth About Allergies

"Mummy, what causes my allergies?"

"You see little Horatio, when you were stuck in Mummy's belly, she made some bad lifestyle choices, which included hanging out with Andy Warhol, and more or less blocking out any semblance of reality behind a decade-long blizzard of cocaine, binge drinking and Brady Bunch reruns.

When Mummy finally came to sometime in the 80's, you were there, although she didn't quite remember the actual birth, as well as some unpaid gambling debts that came back to haunt her. . .

An Interview With My Cat

How rude of me not to introduce you all to my newest family member? I do apologise, and hope to make it up to you with an in-depth profile of someone I wait upon hand and foot, and whose shit and piss I clean up every day, yet am still fond of. Her. . .I'm fond of her, not her shit and piss.

AEINE: Penny, thanks so much for taking time out of your hefty schedule of licking your anus, and shedding fur directly onto my eyeballs while I sleep to answer my questions.

P: No problem, Biggest. Just know that I feel a hefty turd on the way, and unless you change that fucking litter before it comes, I'm not taking responsibility for where it lands.

AEINE: Duly noted. Now for my first question: How does that taste? You know, that thing you're licking. . .