An Englishman in New England

Above is the new life motto, used frequently (and accidentally in a very public manner at work today, bringing the Englishman's HR points up by 1; only 5 more till 'involuntary retirement'!), an unabashed plagiarism of that comedic genius, Dave Chappelle. It takes a lot of skill to find a word that has lost its' offensive punch, and polish, revitalise and carve out a new place for it in civil society.

For making the word 'Bitch' funny again, I give you kudos, Mr. Chappelle, kudos.

I suggest you all try it. Simply disagree, play a game, or start an armed conflict with someone, win it, and end on the sourest of notes by slipping in "yeah, that's right. Kiss the rings, bitch!" as a parting shot. "How to Lose Friends and Alienate Yourself", indeed, but how sweet it feels!

Note to self: get more rings
Follow up note: Introduce idea of polygamy to the Woman as way of getting more rings. Proposed benefits include someone else to do dishes, someone to take her side in arguments (make sure Woman #2 is mute), and someone to lend 'feminine hygiene products' when the Woman is out. Yeeees, it's all going according to plan. . .

Coming soon, the Englishman strikes a blow for the common man against the most faceless of faceless corporate machines, Finagle-a-Bagel.

Keep the cheeks in the seats.